A review of January

I sipped spiked punch and ate sushi at my friend’s apartment on New Year’s Eve. I wore black mesh socks that I love. I returned home just before midnight and got out of the car to the sound of clanking pots and pans and countdowns.

(Reader, this is when I love living in New York.)

Joey and I hurried to my roof and saw the fireworks from Prospect Park and the faintest glittering from Manhattan. I heard echoes from nearby rooftops and exclamations of “Happy New Year.” I stayed there until I lost feeling in my fingers and my cheeks went red.

I greeted the year with quiet anticipation and optimism. With a good feeling in my gut. And I must tell you, January was so wholly good.

There are certainly the “highlights,” but so much of what made this a transformational month for me was the inner work I gave focus to.

If you remember, I committed to greatly reducing my television intake for the month. While this felt difficult at the onset (intensified by it being deep winter and the dark night so long), I adjusted fairly quickly. And goodness, this change opened up time and space for me. I filled my evenings with writing, podcasts, baths, puzzles, and sometimes! Nothingness! My mind increasingly felt clearer. I slept better. My mood seemed more stable. I felt less lethargic and more mindful. Turns out, though, I’m not great at puzzles and the cute dog park one I purchased did not get finished.

(*Note! I absolutely love television and when I did watch, I watched it so happily. There is nothing wrong with it and watching lots of it! In this season of my life, I knew I needed to make some changes to nudge myself out of a rut, and this was one such method.)

I started doing a nightly inventory, writing about the day and what I prayed for in the day to come. I started writing in the morning, followed by a guided meditation. I made a point to notice my thought patterns, actively making an effort to shift away from lack-focused thinking and more toward the abundance that is housed within me and around me. Making a conscious effort to do this daily and to gently nudge my thoughts in a more life-giving direction — I actually felt myself changing in real time.

There were happenings in January that generously filled my cup. Early in the month, I flew to Durham to photograph a friend’s wedding. I used to live in this city, back when I was pursuing a Masters in Theology. I often tell people it was the best two years of my life. That sentiment still rings true. I visited my old haunts and walked the neighborhood I used to live in. I was misty-eyed looking at my old place (fondly referred to as GT 47). I lost track of time at my friends’ house (their’s is the home where the door is always open) sitting around a bonfire. I felt the sun on my face. I held some of my very best friends.

I had my first ever tarot reading. It was done by my neighbor, whose meet-cute can be credited to our two dogs. It was wildly validating and reflective of all the inner work I’ve been doing. She gifted me my first tarot deck and I’m still basking in the generosity of that.

I went to a release party with a friend and we browsed through art books as we ate churros. We’ve been voicing our outlandish dreams to each other and it feels incredibly freeing.

I love that I’m making new friends in my early 30s.

Mid-month, my grandmother passed. At the time, I was reading Luster at a bar. I was deep in the detailing of a coroner examining a dead body. She was listening to heavy metal and examining the wounds on a young vet when I received word that my grandmother had died peacefully in her sleep. Tears sprang to my eyes and warped the pages. I quietly toasted to her full (97 years!) life and the amazing lineage that survives her. The cayenne from my drink flamed in my throat as the three bartenders cheers-ed to being queer and here.

I had a job interview that left me buzzing (throw positive energy my way, will you?). I did a visualization beforehand, imagining myself in my confidence, in a seat of power, if you will. And let me tell you, I glided through that door feeling radiant.

I discovered a café that allows Joey to sit inside. He sits alongside me as I write here, greeting fellow visitors earnestly and getting treats thrown to him by the owner. This finding has been such a gift.

I tried anchovies (paired with sourdough bread dunked in olive oil, just how I like it) for the first time and they’re a yes for me.

And mixed into my days, a roundup of current fixations —

Monotasking
Leveling up
Baking (This Nutella banana bread was my favorite)
Journaling
My red robe
Tidying up
Browning butter
Rearranging
The NYT mini crossword
Burning incense
The Chani app
Decadent toast

As the month came to a close, I spent the afternoon with my friend at a spa on Govenors Island overlooking the Hudson and Lower Manhattan. It’s as magical as it sounds. We took the ferry back to the city as the sun was setting and the sky was blazing with hues of orange, yellow, and purple.

I feel different. I actually can’t believe how much so. Much of last year was hard, and much of the year before that was hard. This swell of goodness has me floating and I’m meeting February spinning.